Surrender is not caving in or giving up. It is a sacred intention of spiritual transformation. A commitment to explore the depth of one's fears with a renewed sense of faith and inner peace.
It seems everywhere I look, my friends, clients and family are being confronted with situations and experiences to challenge and deepen their commitment to peace and faith/trust. The most common reaction to these triggers is to try harder and figure it out intellectually, to solve the problem, do something about it...but when these efforts aren't paying off, what then?
Perhaps, your Soul is asking you to surrender. After all, it is second most important step in transformation, evolution--upleveling, as so many like to say now.
So, how can you determine where and when you need to surrender?
Where you are using absolute and expectational words? In your thoughts and in your convos with friends, when are you saying things like "I just can't" or "I am never", "I have to", "must", "should", "shouldn't". Anytime you hear (mentally or aloud) words like these being used, it's cause for pause--to take a moment and honestly ask yourself how true that is. The point here isn't to force yourself to do something that doesn't align with your morals or values, but for you to become starkly aware that YOU are placing these behavioral expectations on yourself.
In that moment of awareness, a sacred shift happens--powerlessness begins its *transmutation into empowerment.
At first, you might say that you have to do or be so and so for someone--your kids or spouse, for instance. But why? You do own a purpose in all of this. Relax into this idea and explore. At the root of every behavior, thought and belief lies you. You are making a choice that involves a desire you want (or wanted) to fulfill. Often, we get so caught up in going along with the story and performing our role, we completely lose touch with that fact. That, at some point, we choose this. It had a purpose. And we refuse to recognize that there are other options because they take us outside of our comfort zone, aren't aligned with our values or won't bring us closer to that desire that initiated this situation.
This is where it gets really interesting, but can be a little tricky. Beyond this point, the following are required: your utmost honesty, self-compassion, and courage--a willingness to peek outside of what you know to be you and discover another, more whole you.
After you've identified your initial purpose in this situation, what you were trying to gain or avoid, first ask yourself, "Is this still true for me? Do I still want this?". Our desires do change and one of the most common reasons for ruts and old energy patterns that aren't taking us anywhere is because we don't want the same things anymore. Or perhaps we didn't know what we wanted to begin with but we know we aren't heading there now. At this point, empowerment is available to you in your decision to continue investing energy into this situation (with this new awareness of choice), or in your decision to cease, or otherwise alter the dynamics of, the situation to support you and your desires.
If you've concluded the latter, that this situation does in fact need to change or cease to be, then dig into the unthinkable: what options are you avoiding or have you thrown out because you just "can't". Again, I'm not recommending you do the unthinkable, but what is it? What are you avoiding? There are two major markers here: competing priorities/values and fear. Both are a call to go deeper, to step more fully into your inner power and wisdom.
When we avoid an alternative decision because it poses a conflict with our values or morals, it is usually related to self-care and our habit to put others' needs before our own. The dissonance and frustration of the situation is a direct effect of your Soul's malnourishment. Do you know what your Soul is begging for? Name it. Once we discover exactly what energy our Soul is asking for (general nurturing, joy, creativity, play, expression, love), we can choose to alter the circumstances accordingly or seek that energetic support elsewhere. Let's chat about finding support "elsewhere" in The Tent!
The scariest of alternative decisions has the most power. It is always wise to be wary of a decision that puts the most distance between you and your fears. Obviously, I don't mean snakes here, but emotional fears that give way to mind games. Fear that keeps us small. Ideas and outcomes that make us shrink (or lash out) when we imagine them. Maybe you even have butterflies or a pain in your stomach or chest when you visualize it happening. Which alternative decisions generate fear for you? And what is it that you fear? What will happen if you took this route? Name it. The ego's position is always self-preservation and there is nothing wrong with playing it safe, but it's important to know that is exactly what it is. And alternatively, if you're ready to be more, if you're desperate for more, if living a soul inspired life is what you're here for, then it's time to bring your fears closer and have a deeper look. What are they hiding? What are they keeping you from?
Surrender is not caving in or giving up. It is a sacred intention of transformation. A commitment to explore the depth of one's fears with a renewed sense of faith and inner peace.
Surrender is a process of transmutation. So, what is transmutation exactly? A note here: I write from my own experiences and this is what I've been shown while giving Reiki. *Transmutation is a process by which the subtle energy of something is completely dissolved (or returned to) spiritual source energy where it can be reprocessed, if and as needed. It is very much like a heavy cloud finally pouring rain, and then the droplets vaporizing back into the atmosphere. What was once one thing is dissolved and its particles are free to become something new. We then reprocess whatever is needed for lessons and building blocks, and the rest goes to wherever it is being called.
We surrender to release something from its present form and allow it to become something new, more whole, more perfect for us now.
Where do you feel powerless in your life?
I know it feels so personal and painful, but it is simply your Soul asking you to take back your power. Guiding you to exactly where it wants to shine through more brightly.